Couples Therapy
Do You Worry About The Well-Being Of Your Relationship Or Marriage?
Are you and your partner struggling to communicate or engage on a level that doesn’t involve criticism or arguments? Do you feel:
unheard, unsupported, or underappreciated?
alone, stuck, unfulfilled—even unloved?
overwhelmed by responsibilities and expectations?
disconnected—as if you have nothing in common?
Perhaps you’re considering marriage counseling to head off any problems before they become a real issue. Or maybe you’re looking into therapy because you’re having trouble navigating parenting, family relationships, or the frequently toxic nature of our world as an LGBTQ couple.
Relationships Are Filled With Challenges
Some days, it may not seem like you’re lovers at all, but rather roommates or partners in a business relationship. You may fight or disagree often, so you either withdraw or find yourself sacrificing essential needs or parts of yourself in order to keep the peace. The resulting lack of intimacy or emotional connection probably leaves you feeling lonely and unwanted.
You may be trying to recover from infidelity or a betrayal of some sort, but you’re having trouble trusting and believing in the possibility of reconciliation. And though you try to reignite the fire that once united you, it just seems like neither of you can ever “do anything right.”
Our couples therapists at Integral Psychological Services understand that relationships and marriages are naturally complicated, but counseling can help. With support, guidance, and a little work on your part, it is possible to heal and enjoy a relationship in which you both feel heard, respected, and loved.
Any Relationship Can Get Complicated
After all, when you bring two people together with different backgrounds, goals, and expectations—it’s not always easy getting along. However, there are many facets of each partner’s life that can cause or contribute to relationships problems:
concerns related to finances, careers, parenting, or intimacy
history of trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, or abandonment
contempt, resentment, criticism, lack of communication
trust issues, power imbalances, different goals and interests
poor relationship and attachment modeling in childhood
All of these factors can lay the groundwork for marriage and relationship problems, which is why therapy is so important. Most couples don’t have the self-awareness and interpersonal skills to navigate conflict, maintain healthy relationships, and overcome betrayal and relational wounding. So they spend years letting otherwise manageable issues grow into problems—or worse, crises.
In contrast, working with a couples therapist can help you understand the source of your relationship issues and identify steps you can both take to improve things on your own. With our help, you can learn how to communicate productively, resolve conflict peacefully, and rebuild your relationship from the ground up.
Couples Therapy Can Teach You How To Nurture And Safeguard Your Relationship
Most people are never taught how to self-advocate or express themselves—nor how to navigate relationships and their inherent challenges. However, couples therapy is a place where you can learn how to nurture not only your relationship, but also yourself. It offers you powerful skills for building trust, improving communication, and deepening intimacy.
Couples therapy also gives you both a chance to heal from any emotional wounding that may influence how you interact with each other. And because talking about sensitive topics can be difficult, working with a couples/marriage counselor provides you with an impartial ally who can referee and make sure no one feels attacked and everyone feels heard.
How Do Couples Counseling Sessions Work?
Meeting either online or in person, we’ll start our initial couples counseling session by assessing your background and concerns for the relationship. Afterward, we’ll meet individually to get a more candid perspective on the relationship from each person. Then, in subsequent sessions, we’ll meet together to collaborate on creating solutions to challenges and strengthening your connection.
To get to the root of the problem, we may explore aspects of your childhood years, your early attachments, and relevant relationship history. We’ll look for any emotional or relational wounding in the past that may be affecting how you connect with each other now. And we’ll identify goals you have individually and as a couple for therapy.
What Kind Of Tools Do We Use In Couple Counseling Sessions?
Our therapists utilize a range of strategies to create a dynamic treatment plan that can be tailored to your unique needs as a couple. Although we draw from numerous research-driven modalities, we specialize in the Gottman Method, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Attachment-Based Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for couples, or ACT.
The Gottman Method, often considered the golden standard in couples therapy, seeks to neutralize the four most common and problematic relationship issues for couples: contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for couples focuses on creating change where possible while coming to terms with and working around the unchangeable.
Attachment-Based Therapy identifies the link between early relationships and how those attachments inform current relationship patterns and behaviors.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) examines negative thoughts, feelings, and self-beliefs that may contribute to relationship stress and insecurities.
Using these powerful approaches to counseling, we can help you protect your relationship or marriage from external and internal stressors. We want to teach you how to communicate effectively and truly listen to and understand your partner. At the same time, we want to show you how to set boundaries and maintain healthy relationship habits that include speaking so you can be heard.
Ultimately, we’re here to help you learn how to care for and nurture your relationship while drawing upon it as a strong foundation for personal growth and healing. So whatever you are going through, couples therapy can help you heal your relationship and discover a new way of seeing yourself and your partner.
Perhaps You’re Considering Couple’s Counseling But Still Have Concerns...
What if couples therapy makes things worse?
Although that is a common fear, ignoring relationship problems actually causes more damage, regardless of what happens in therapy. Addressing issues openly, head-on, and as soon as possible results in better outcomes all around. Even if something uncomfortable comes up in session, you’ll have an impartial ally who can act as an emotional buffer and referee as you work to make things better.
What if my partner isn't honest in therapy?
The truth is that people want to be honest; they just fear the consequences of being that vulnerable. Sharing truths requires feeling comfortable, safe, and free of judgment, which is why we strive to build a strong relationship of trust with both partners. Our job is to always engage in the therapeutic process with both compassion and integrity, thus facilitating greater honesty and openness.
Can we recover from an affair?
Betrayal can be a devastating blow to any relationship. However, counseling is a powerful way of repairing a marriage for any couple struggling with intimacy, infidelity, or trust issues. In some cases, therapy can even strengthen the bond beyond what was there before. So regardless of the challenge you’re facing, it doesn’t have to spell the end for your marriage, and counseling can help.
Let Us Help You Learn How To Nurture And Repair Your Relationship
If you are tired of fighting all the time and you just want to get back to a place where you feel like you have each other’s back, couples counseling can help. Please Contact Us, Email Us, or call (616) 600-2845 to set up your first online or in-person couples therapy session. You can also reach us at one of our locations in Grand Rapids, Comstock Park, Walker, or Rockford, Michigan.
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