4 Communication Tips For Couples To Prevent Conflict

Relationships are a wonderful thing. When things are going great, we couldn't be happier. We know life gets hard, and at the end of the day, we have our partner to rely on, and we know the same is true for them. Even though there are a lot of perfect moments in a relationship, relationships themselves are far from perfect.

Relationships take work and sacrifice from both partners. We don't always get along with them or like the things they say or do(or don't.) As challenging as relationship issues, in most cases, conflict results from a breakdown in communication. Couples can argue for many reasons, and unfortunately, it can become uncontrollable if there is a lack of communication. Here are four tips to help improve communication while reducing conflict.

Communication Tips for Couples

1. Practice Active Listening

Listening goes beyond hearing their voice and what they are saying. Active listening involves ensuring that your partner knows that you are truly paying attention to what they are saying. To best do this, give verbal and nonverbal cues that you are fully involved in the conversation.

Nod your head. Ask questions if you need further clarification or need something explained more. During conversations with each other, be sure to put away all distractions, such as phones or the television playing in the background.

2. Let Each Other Speak

We all want our opinions and side of things to be heard. You just want the other person to hear what you are saying. Unfortunately, this sometimes means that we talk over our partner. Or interrupt them when they are in the middle of their sentence because you don't agree with something. This goes along with active listening, but this tip is important enough to be number 2 on the list.

When your partner is speaking, don't interrupt them. If they say something you disagree with, wait until they are finished to make your point. Not interrupting each other in the middle of the sentence ensures that each of you will have the chance to speak. It's also a sign of respect when you are showing that you care about what they have to say.

This is where we see many arguments spiral out of control because suddenly, they turn into a screaming match of trying to talk over one another.

3. Use "I Statements"

We'll use a specific example here. Lately, it seems as if your partner isn't making time for you or your relationship. You could say something like, "You never pay attention to me anymore," or you could say something like, "I feel as if you aren't prioritizing our relationship anymore."

Which one do you think is better? The "I" statement wins, for sure. When you come at someone with "You"  statements, it blames the other partner. And while "I statements" can do the same thing, they come across as more gentle and less accusatory. This can prevent your partner (or you) from getting defensive, which normally leads to tension.

4. Learn To Walk Away

You're in the middle of an argument, and it just doesn't seem to get any closer to being resolved. You just want things resolved so you keep trying to stay in this conversation. If it is just going in circles and you find yourselves becoming increasingly frustrated, don't be afraid to walk away.

There's nothing wrong with saying, "Look, we aren't resolving anything right now, and I think we are both pretty frustrated. Let's agree to drop this conversation for right now, walk away from it, and then we'll pick it back up later when we have had a chance to cool down."

Just be sure to actually continue the conversation, or else it will remain unresolved and will likely cause an argument in the future, anyway.

If you want to learn more effective ways to communicate with your partner, don't hesitate to reach out for couples therapy.